tesg's guide to big chain road food consumption

CHAIN -- IHOP (International House of Pancakes)
Owner -- IHOP Corp
Primary Operating Region -- Scattered about 48 states
Number of Locations -- 1,242 (June 2005)

I happened to be in Layton, Utah the day the 1,000th IHOP, also in Layton, opened.  I wasn’t AT the IHOP that day, but I saw the newspaper story the next day.  Skydivers dressed as breakfast (bacon, egg, etc) landed in a giant IHOP plate set up in the parking lot, then they all laid in the plate.  Classy, yes?  Not really.

The first International House of Pancakes opened in Toluca Lake, California in 1958.  There were fifty of them in 1960.  They went public, they put their paws in other stuff (Orange Julius for awhile), they built A-frame-shaped restaurants.  Woo hoo.  Like most of the family breakfast houses, they're boring. 

Wife #1 loved IHOP.  If we came across one, she wanted to eat there.  But what I always remembered and she NEVER remembered was that every time we went to an IHOP, I left disgusted, and she left saying out loud “Gee, I remember it being better than that.”  It took about five years of passing IHOP’s before she started remembering, “I wasn’t happy with them the last time we went, was I?”  My favorite such example came in Couer D’ Alene, Idaho.  Wife #1 ordered her food, I ordered mine, and as Wife #1 was being served HER food, I got a waitress telling me I couldn’t have what I ordered because the chef didn’t know how to make it.  They couldn’t be bothered to tell me this when they found out.  They waited.  It’s not like I made up the order…I ordered right off the menu for crying out loud.  So I told her I would have nothing and eat elsewhere after Wife #1 was done.  This got a really sad look from the waitress and Wife #1 dribbling excuses all over my response to her, as if it was MY fault this happened.

I've gotten more tolerable about IHOP over the years.  Their staple, pancakes, are good.  Your table features a syrup bottle holder that holds four blue plastic containers.  These may include: Strawberry, Blueberry, Boysenberry, and Butter Pecan.  I often find there's multiple containers of one of the flavors, though, leaving you missing something.  Maple syrup is brought to your table hot.  Sweet.  If your order coffee, your table will also feature a filled blue coffee thermos.  

The rest of the menu, by my experience, is unremarkable.  I've had scrambled eggs that tasted like a powder mix.  They were disgusting.  I've also had omelettes where said eggs were fine.  Eggs over easy: fine.  There's the usual bacon, sausage, lunch sandwiches, and the other things you find at Denny's, Village Inn, and Perkins.  One plus is the variety of sides you can choose from with sandwiches.  Fries, onion rings, salad...But no pancakes.  This is a pancake house, right?  Why NOT let me have a side of pancakes with my cheeseburger?

Like most of the family restaurant segment, you can probably find something on the menu that will be acceptable.  Don't expect to find anything special.  Except maybe the pancake.  I mean, it's in the name, right?  The "P" in IHOP.  Pancake.  Okay. 

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