tesg's guide to big chain road food consumption

CHAIN -- In-N-Out Burger
Owner -- Privately Held
Primary Operating Region -- Concentrated areas in California, Nevada, Arizona, and Utah
Number of Locations -- 232 (2008)

I expected a number of things when I put up this website.  I expected to amuse myself.  I expected to justify all those pictures I take of things like fast food places.  I expected to justify all that CRAP I eat at said fast food places.

What I didn't expect was for others to read it.

Then, suddenly, I started getting noticed by search engines, "Site of the Week" awards, certain chain executives, and other fast food fans.  And the majority of fast food fans had one thing to say..."Where's In-N-Out?"  Literally four out of five e-mails I got regarding the fast food pages asked why In-N-Out wasn't reviewed.  A couple of those also used the line "the greatest fast food chain in the world".  Why so much love for a regional chain?  Is In-N-Out really that good?

My first exposure to the brand was a window sticker on the back of a pickup truck in the 1970's.  But they had modified the logo into a sexual innuendo by removing the "B" and the "R" off of the ends of "Burger".  In more recent years, I'd seen the basic commercials on west coast hockey telecasts.  None of that does nearly the good that the word of mouth does, and the word of mouth is GOOD.  In-N-Out fans are obsessed.  

In-N-Out was started by Harry and Esther Snyder in 1948 in Baldwin Park, California.  The crossed palm trees you see in front of most outlets and in some logos were borrowed from a scene in "It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World" where crossed palm trees marked treasure.

The idea for the original store is largely credited as the invention of the drive-thru concept.  Snyder's stand featured a two-way speaker box where you ordered, then drove up to get the food, then out you go.  You're in, you're out.  Get it?  Novel, but not enough to make a legend.  That was done with the food.

Snyder believed in giving customers the freshest, highest quality food possible, a policy still practiced.  Restaurant expansion is limited to within a limited range of the company's commissaries, which preps and distributes the never-frozen beef (less than a week ago, your burger was a walking cow), veggies, and buns.  Potatoes arrive in bags at restaurants and are cut into fries on site.  In-N-Out claims not to own a single microwave, heat lamp, or freezer.

Immediately, you're thinking "Why can't they just build regional commissaries and operate territories across the country?"  You're not the only one to ask.  The standard answer is quality control.  You're just going to have to travel to select areas of California, Nevada, Arizona or Utah to enjoy In-N-Out.  Franchises have never been offered, though many have asked, and when denied, some have imitated.  Some of those imitators have been sued.  Pretty much everybody would love to get their paws on this brand.

Tragedy has haunted the family.  Harry Snyder died in 1976, when the chain boasted 18 stores.  Esther and sons Rich and Guy pushed on.  Rich was then president until his death in a plane crash (which also killed two board members) in 1993.  Guy took over until his death (drug overdose) in 1999.  Harry's wife Esther chaired the family owned business until her death in 2006. The heir is the sole grandchild, Lynsi Martinez.  Martinez held 25 percent of the stock, inheriting the rest in 25 percent increments upon reaching age 25, 30, and 35 according to reports based on information filed in a 2006 lawsuit by board member and (former) VP of Real Estate Richard Boyd, who claimed Martinez and her half-brother Mark Taylor, VP of Operations, attempted to wrongfully oust him and effectively stage a coup and expand at a rate Snyder and Boyd say can't be handled properly.  Martinez and In-N-Out fired back with a lawsuit of their own accusing fraud and embezzlement.  Both sides claimed to have Snyder on their side.  The lawsuit was settled under secretive terms, supposedly to keep Snyder from having to testify.  Mark Taylor became President upon Esther's death.  It's never boring around HERE, is it.

Bottom line...There's a serious obsession here, one I should check out.  So a truck-driving friend text-messaged me from Phoenix. I told him he should try In-N-Out. He does, and text-messaged me again. "It was pretty good," he said.

Pretty good?!? Californians worship this stuff! What do you mean "pretty good"?

So finally, I make the trip plans. It's time I experienced this for myself.

A co-worker asks where I'm going. I explain. "Oh yeah, I ate at one of those in California. It was okay."

See? What's the deal here?

The city: Las Vegas. It's 10:40am. The sign on the door says they're open at 10:30, but the doors are still locked. There's a guy inside mopping the floor, and he sees me, but he pretends not to see me. After five minutes, I get frustrated and leave. Off to the next store.

10:55am. At the next store, a woman is standing at the front entrance banging on the door. This store ALSO isn't open yet! "The sign says they open at 10:30," she says in a flustered tone. "That guy (pointing at a guy inside) looked at me, but then acted like he didn't see me!"  A few minutes later, the guy comes up and opens the door. So among the many secrets of In-N-Out, you can apparently throw in that they don't really open at 10:30.

Everybody else in town obviously knows this, because at 11:05, the locals swarm in. The parking lot instantly fills up and mayhem ensues with a big line at the counter and employees, who seemingly number higher than a busy Waffle House, crowding over each other and buzzing about behind the counter. Included in this highly organized mess is three or four trainees and their trainer, who is going over the spare cash register with them in tremendous detail, including pop quizzes. He's pointing fingers and generally acting like a really strict mom. They are crowded around him REALLY close and look like baby birds just learning to leave the nest.

The menu board redefines simple. Three burgers. French Fries. Shake. Sodas. Milk. Coffee. That's it. There's no chicken, there's no breakfast, there's no special sandwich of the month. There's three combo meals on a banner below the menu board. The sodas are available in four sizes. Everything else is one-size-fits-all. But you can manipulate this if you know the language.

In-N-Out has its own "unpublished" menu, really just favorites people have come up with over the years that have proven so popular they've spawned an In-N-Out vocabulary.  You can configure your burger to have as many patties and slices of cheese as you wish by using a numbering system.  Example: A 4x4 is a four-patty burger with four slices of cheese (the first number is patties, the second cheese slices).  My personal preference is a 3x2.  I have seen pictures of a 20x20, including pictures of the guy eating it, and even a video of a group eating a 100x100.  (NOTE: In-N-Out has apparently recently capped a limit at four patties and four cheese slices.)

Order your burger "Protein-style" and it will arrive bunless, wrapped in a lettuce leaf, something they were doing long before you ever heard the phrase "low carb".  Order a "Flying Dutchman" ("Dutch" was apparently Guy's nickname) and you'll get two beef patties and two slices of cheese, no bun or anything else.  "Animal Style" gets a mustard-cooked patty, extra spread, pickles and grilled onions.  You can also order the fries animal style, which adds cheese, spread,and grilled onions.  Grilled onions can be had on any sandwich.  They give the burger sort of a White Castle aftertaste.  Sort of.

There are other terms in this language which you can easily find online.  Or just hang out at the store and listen to the people ordering.  While I was at this store, I heard a crew member shout out "Home run!"  I later discovered this means somebody skipped the drive-thru speaker and drove straight to the window to order.

I got my order placed before the locals arrived. I ordered a Double-Double (two patties, two slices of cheese) with onions and no tomato (you have to specify if you want onions, and if you don't, they'll ask), fries, and a chocolate shake. I paid, and the cashier looked a little confused for a second. He then gave me my change one cent short and said "I'm sorry, I have to get change." I'm not worried about the penny, so I take my receipt and sit down as he yells "I'm out of pennies!". The drive-thru girl says "I'm out of pennies too." The penny crisis grew throughout the kitchen.

My number is called about ten minutes later, and there it is. The famous food people have been raving about. The burger. The fresh-cut fries. The milkshake.

The beef patties are fairly uniform...a bit small, even...and not as juicy as I'd like, making them the weak point of the sandwich. They're better with cheese.  The cheese melts quickly and becomes a really gooey mess, which honestly ends up being part of the attraction. All In-N-Out burgers officially on the menu come with a Big Mac-like special sauce. The onions, lettuce, and bun also came off as fresh and clean as advertised.

The fries look like standard fast-food cuts. They were cooked perfectly for those who like a fairly crisp outside with an inside that still resembles potato. You can order the fries cooked longer (ask for "Well Done") and have them be really crispy. Trust me. Go that route. I did later in the day at another store, where I also tried ordering outside the box with a 3x3.  The milkshake is wonderful...smooth and creamy.

The overall food quality is heads and above better than the major hamburger chains and on-par with any regional chain I know of, and everything is priced very attractively for what you get.  Traffic flow tells the whole story.  A friend of mine told me he counted 70 orders fulfilled at an In-N-Out in the time it took him to order and eat his food...not counting the drive-thru.

In-N-Out has moved into Utah since I wrote this, so I have regular access a couple of times a year.  I still don't consider them the greatest hamburger ever (or even in Utah), but I pick up a 2 x 1 Animal Style and some fries well done from time to time.

When visiting the Las Vegas store on Dean Martin Drive, you will find a large neighboring building that houses the Las Vegas warehouse and a Company Store.  The store isn't a restaurant…it was a clothing and accessory shop featuring In-N-Out branded merchandise. Apparently In-N-Out is one of those companies that believes you should pay for the privilege of walking the streets advertising their chain on gaudy shirts and what not.

I spent 80 bucks in there.

You can buy everything in their extensive collection at the company's website.  Will it get you noticed?  Flash forward to a supermarket in Iowa, where the cashier noticed the logo on my shirt.

"Where's In-N-Out Booger?" she asked.

"In California," I said.

"You work there?"

"No.  They just sell a lot of shirts."

(Blank stare).

Yeah.  I guess so.

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